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Consider it an honor to help your friend during this painful time. Offer your help in other ways, such as ushering, delivering a reading, preparing the program for the service, or assisting the family with plans for the service or for any reception afterwards (if there is one). Are you afraid of Sivasankar, court asks Customs; allows five-day custody, Chennai roads inundated as cyclone Nivar triggers intermittent rain, These Kashmiri families are eager to vote in Kerala local body polls, Wanted! By clicking "Accept", you agree to our website's cookie use as described in our Cookie Policy. In her own time and way, she will start to venture forth more. The mourning period lasts for 10 days after the death. Often, the best thing one can do is to listen patiently without interrupting. or the universal soul. This link will open in a new window. Certain Hindus may choose to remain at home during the mourning period and not visit the temple. Check out some ways to incorporate this idea when offering condolences for a partner or spouse. Choose from trainer trainings, seminars, live-online workshops, and self-paced online courses, to best meet your etiquette training needs. Whether you are going to a, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Parent, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Sibling, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Friend, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Partner or Spouse, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Child. Funerals are emotionally complex, and knowing how to act can present a Its a difficult time, emotions are raw and theres a lot to organize. Weapons do not cut this Spirit, fire does not burn it, water does not make it wet, and the wind does not make it dry. Your sister was an honorable woman who sacrificed much for her family. The best thing is to work things through at your own pace. May Lord Krishna grant you strength. Women need to dress conservatively with knees and arms covered. As a general rule, the closer your relationship to the bereaved, the sooner you should contact him or her. On behalf of my family, I want to say how sorry we are for your loss. While visiting the bereaved, our focus should remain completely on the departed, and the grieving family. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. There is often an emphasis on white flowers. Service animals are allowed. https://www.learnreligions.com/healing-words-for-tragic-times-1770148. Eastern Orhtodox During the period before burial (three days after death), flowers may be sent to the funeral home. Relate stories that show your friend in a positive light, and handle any humor with care. It is a common slip-up for people to assume that sharing their own religious beliefs would bring solace to the bereaved family. 4. For instance, if the family head shows or voices no grief, the guests will respond similarly. Silence is golden: Mark Twains classic quote is noteworthy in the context of visiting a bereaved family. If you are a friend of a friend: Send an email or handwritten note at your convenience. Shell never be forgotten. Traditionally, Hindus like to have the ashes spread on the Ganges Rivers waters in India. That being said, our approach to the bereaved cannot be generalised beyond a point; each situation is unique, as is each family. Need Immediate Service? Usage of any form or other service on our website is There is a tendency to judge whether the person deserved to die the way he or she did. This is generally the case with professional colleagues and associates, community and religious organization members, and other acquaintances. Envisioning Fatherhood: Indian Fathers' Perceptions of an Ideal Father. Those who are close to the grieving family can gently make sure that they dont miss their meals. When someone you know has experienced the death, it's a natural impulse to want to reach out and offer sympathy, condolences, and support. As there is no room for error, it is better to go prepared than be caught by surprise not knowing how to respond in such situations. Then, organize help with phone calls and the preparation of a newspaper announcement. Offering Condolences: The Right Things to Say at a Funeral Whats regionally accepted in Southern India, for example, may not be appropriate or even standard in the North. Do You Take Flowers to a Hindu Funeral? - Synonym Common blunders while visiting the bereaved: 1. We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. Offer specific assistance: "I'm going to the grocery. Finding the proper way to express condolences can be difficult. As absurd as it might seem, in todays fast-paced world, there are instances of people placing wreaths on the wrong coffin, and even consoling strangers after mistaking them for immediate family. You could certainly send her a personal note expressing your condolences. After bereavement, a person goes through denial, anger, bargaining, depressionand finally acceptancethese stages take time. Those can include: During these thirteen days, the family and friends of the deceased are given the freedom to express their grief rather than keep it bottled up inside. If youre not familiar with these Hindu funeral customs, you may also see a lot of food and drink. The ashes are usually scattered in a local river or the sea or maybe taken to India to be scattered in any one of the holy rivers, such as the Ganga. (2020). Adherence to a strict mourning period is less common today. Mourners dress, eat, and behave austerely during the ten to thirty days after the death and before the shraddha ceremony. May God guide your sons soul to attain the right path. Most of the Hindu mourning rituals performed are designed to promote the free expression of emotions. I'm here for you." Hare Krishna. Everything will be fine is another pass phrase where both the speaker and listener know its a lie. Now you can focus on leaving a legacy instead of a mess. Talk to your friend's family. Emily Post training and consultation services are available for groups, businesses and individuals. It is specifically meant for those who are contemplating visiting a recently bereaved family. Members of the immediate family aren't chosen, as their place is with the family. For information about opting out, click here. In general, it is never inappropriate to dress in a way that reflects respect and sorrow for the somber moments of mourning a loss. Choosing an appropriate date to bring home newborn. If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. Hindu Death Rituals Everything You Need To Know - Medium It is better to dress conservatively. Amy Wolkenhauer, BA in English/Creative Writing, https://www.indiatoday.in/information/story/deepest-condolence-messages-very-helpful-in-grief-1657386-2020-03-19, Hindu death traditions, rituals & beliefs. Surinder taught his children to live with intent and to be good ancestors. The guests should expect to see the body, offer condolences to the bereaved family, and take a seat quietly. 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One needs to observe at least 10 to 30 days of mourning. If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. 6. Visitations are usually held one or two days prior to the funeral service during a fixed set of hours. Unfortunately, when a son dies, some people come up with public statements along the lines of Theyve lost their only son which is an unfair statement that reeks of gender bias. Ask for his/her input and a checklist of what needs to be decided and completed. Just letting her know that you are thinking about her can be helpful. A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: A funeral/wake at the family's place. There are almost never any honorary pallbearers at the funeral of a Christian woman, but at a Jewish funeral both men and women may have honorary pallbearers. Remembering Loved Ones on Holidays, Anniversaries and Special Days And if you plan on visiting themyoull spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. You should not bring flowers to a Hindu funeral. Divorced parents should include it in their holiday visitation schedule, especially if they get the day off of work or their child gets the day off of school.. Keep in mind that this can be a particularly important holiday for military families because it honors individuals . Close friends who are invited to attend will receive a personal invitation to the event. For many people it can be a great comfort to know that friends are thinking of them in such a difficult time. Cake offers its users do-it-yourself online forms to complete their own wills and JavaScript is disabled. It is customary to make a brief visit and spend a few moments in private prayer and then to visit with the family members. Otherwise, they may quietly sit throughout the chanting. Some Indian-Americans journey all the way back to India to immerse the ashes in the Ganges or visit many pilgrimage sites to seek blessings for the departed soul and solace for their own pain. Whether you are going to a Hindu funeral or just want to send condolences to an acquaintance, we've provided 15 thoughtful examples as a place to start. Such words are of little use to someone who has just lost a loved one. Where would it be held? Family is very important in Hinduism and healthcare decisions should be made together (normally with the most senior family member or eldest child). So, they can view the body when they enter the house and offers some brief words of condolence to the bereaved family. If you do, it may cause an annoyance as the family or funeral director will have to . There, husbands and wives increasingly share household roles as dual-earners. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. Post Funeral. Visitors are also welcome during this period. The bereaved person could be venting out emotions and if we simply give them our ears, it will be comforting. The rituals will reflect a time of service and mourning, showing the familys dedication to Hindu teachings, beliefs about death, and honoring the memory of the deceased. The bereaved family usually stays home from work for one week following a death. Unfortunately, while social topics like table manners get discussed at home or at school, most of us have not received any formal training on this sombre topic. And if you plan on visiting themyou'll spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. Its important not to confuse peace and speed here, as speed is the best and appropriate choice. Hindu death rituals involve chanting of certain mantras, which are written especially to be chanted at funerals.